Do we see only what we want to see in other people?
When the evidence is overwhelming, do we continue to base our view of someone solely on our own interactions with them? Should we?
At what point do we accept the obvious, what is clearly and negatively true of someone? Do we ever do this? Who suffers if we don’t?
Within our estranged family, what concessions do we make for fractured relationships? Do we maintain neutrality? Do we take sides?
There are no answers here …
but in my observation, those at the root of all the pain and suffering are incapable of feeling, or of loving …
Those at fault employ well-practiced manipulations, and they work as long as we don’t question – as long as we continue to see only what they want us to see.
There is a story, a whole truth to every estrangement …
and if you know it only from one perspective, you do not know it at all.
I walked away from my family more than thirty five years ago, and I promise you every reason my mother or father has given for our estrangement is false.
The truth is: my mother was heinously abusive, to both my sister and I; she should never have had children.
My father was abusive to point of being a monster; he is inhuman.
I should have let my extended family know why I turned by back on my parents when I did so, it would have saved a lot of pain and confusion, and it would have stopped my mother’s lies and my father’s psuedo martyrdom. But I was young, happy to be rid of them, and unwilling to put myself in the center of that emotional storm …
for that, I am sorry.