One of the things I am constantly concerned with, in the case of my father, is this: have I made the right people aware of his depravity?
When I informed Ed’s step-son, Jeffrey, and his wife, Sally Anne – who are the parents of two young children, who Ed truly is, they were understandably taken aback – upset, angry and confused. In the end, they informed Ed, according to his note to me, “they still love me.”
It isn’t a lot different from a situation I was in once upon a time – I learned that my childhood best friend had been arrested for sexually molesting young boys; I had two young boys of my own at the time, and my children adored him. I did not condone what this man had done, but he was my friend, and he was suicidal at the time. I did not shut him out of my life, but I did protect my children from him – I didn’t, not for a single second, close my eyes to what he had done, or what it meant. He, very tragically, went on to commit suicide several years later, unable to cope the burden of being who he was.
Our sexual appetites do not change, they are what they are. Men do not molest and rape an innocent young girl and then go on to lead healthy sexual lives. They do not take sexual gratification from beating their children and then find satisfaction within the mainstream of accepted sexual norms. They do not leer at their young sisters-in-law in the bathtub and later drop all affinity for this deranged behavior.
In the case of my friend, his mother told him he had to tell me what he had done, or she would – this to protect my children. I felt deeply for her and could not imagine how difficult it had to have been to accept what her son had done – I am so thankful she took it upon herself to make sure I was informed.
I understand this issue from all sides, and children MUST be protected; people DO NOT change – especially their sexuality.
If Ed had done the things he has done today, he would be in prison and he would have to register as a sex offender. That is fact, unalterable fact.
Sexual urges- what drives us sexually – cannot be mitigated, cannot be explained away and cannot be changed. We, of course, have control over where our sexuality leads in a moral and ethical sense toward others, but attraction is what it is …
and people who don’t assume that control leave victims in their wake.
Why in the world would anyone take that risk with their child?