Anger, for the most part, is a secondary emotion – a cover-up for what we really feel; pain, heartbreak, fear, betrayal, helplessness, vulnerability …
It is easier to feel angry than it is to feel hopeless or lost or sad or victimized. Often, anger is a choice we make.
That said, all human emotion is valid – we have the right to feel what we feel, even if that feeling is anger.
But healing – and/or anger resolution, requires that we get in touch with the primary emotion underneath.
Therapy, meditation, self-help literature, creative pursuits, spiritual study can all be beneficial, but the key is finding what works for you.
For me, its practicing martial arts — and this came about as a conscious decision I made to never again be anyone’s victim; I really loathe feeling victimized – it makes me mad, and I have learned, through studying Karate, to channel that anger for personal growth and good …
I was told that acquiring a black belt changes you – it does. The grit and determination required to persevere through the challenges of progressing through the ranks is all consuming, and I used my anger as the source of energy and focus I needed to succeed; a positive spin on anger, a sometimes damaging emotion.
Karate gave me the life-skills and defensive tools I need to take care of myself, thus addressing my primary issue: fear of being a victim.
And the skills I learn through practicing martial arts carry over to the rest of my life as well …
I don’t like feeling angry – it’s draining physically, emotionally and spiritually. Anger is also difficult to contain, and it comes out in ways that hurt the people I love. Anger leads to my making mistakes, which leads me to guilt, which takes me right back to depression. No, thank you!
But when I identify the primary emotion – the one that leads to my feeling angry – and then determine what I can do to address it in a positive, effective way …
and then do it,
All, well maybe not All – I’m certainly not Pollyanna, is right with the world.
Now Righteous Anger, as I spoke of yesterday, is another matter entirely; this anger IS primary – I’m not trying to replace feelings rooted in any another emotion with anger. Anger itself is what I feel. There is a stand-alone reason for this kind of anger, but its mission is finite – even Righteous Anger must be released …
Anger is energy, both positive and negative – and what you do with it, and how you channel it, will determine outcome; I plan to pour this energy into Karate, and let it go when it has served its purpose, whatever that happens to be .
Silence Shattered 